January 2, 2017

Excuse my excuses | A story of blogger regret and recovery

I have made a lot of excuses since I started blogging five years ago. I have blamed my problems on my lack of time management, co-bloggers, laziness, fear, forgetfulness, cute puppies who just want me to sleep with them, etc. Some of them were blatant problems that plagued my life, while others were just lies and excuses to make myself feel better. But, every time an excuse slipped out of my mouth (or from my keyboard) I instantly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. 

Every missed post, every unanswered comment, every blank email made me feel like I was drowning in my responsibilities as a blogger. I felt as if I was letting everyone down, especially myself. 

I started this blog in the beginning with two of my best friends in the world. We were naive little bookworms who thought that blogging only consisted of writing posts. HAHAHA, right? Soon enough, we realized that there was a lot more that we did not account for when we gave life to our project. In fact, both of them have decided that blogging is not the right path for them anymore, leaving me the sole owner of Crazy for YA. This proves that bBlogging is so much more than just writing and posting, but that is a discussion for another time. 

The point is, I could continue to blame my naivety, my lack of time, my personal life and the many other things that seem to make blogging impossible, or I can own up to the fact that my blog will not be perfect. 

The first option shows weakness and an unwillingness to change. If I stick to my excuses, the only thing I will be focused on is the inevitability of failure. When failure is your only focus, it will also be your final destination.

Fortunately, there is another option. Instead of succumbing to the guilt and blindly making excuses, I can own up to who I am and what my blog actually is. I am not a blogger who can post every day, every other day, or even pretty consistently. I am a pantser when it comes to blogging, with very few exceptions. In 2017, I want to embrace my destiny as a mood blogger who has to be in the mood and, by some miracle, has to have the time in order to craft a post. 

I want to remember 2017 for what I did do, not what I did not get to do. 

Yes, that might be a lofty goal, especially for such a Type A perfectionist who wants to succeed at ten million different things. But lofty and difficult does not mean impossible. 

My first step to accomplish this goal is to stop giving excuses. 

Blogging started as a source of happiness for me, not stress, worry, and gray hairs. I need to turn my blogging habits around in order to reflect my original goal of sharing my passion for books and helping others in the community revive theirs as well. 

Even though this may seem counterintuitive, I am going to stop setting a post quota for myself. I find that a blogging pattern puts unnecessary stress on my blogging habits. Instead of focusing on the quality of my content and finding inspiration, a quota forces me to write subpar posts. While a schedule is constructive for most bloggers, I have finally come to realize that it is not the right solution for me.

Failing to meet a certain number of posts leads me to regret and guilt, which in turn lead me to more and more excuses. It ends up being a painful cycle that I don't want to give in to it again and again. 

Thankfully, the flexibility of blogging is one of the things I love the most about it, besides the people of course. There are so many ways to go about sharing your love for something on the Internet, and it is very hard to go about it in the wrong way. Blogging is freedom and I just have to remember how to use it.

Have you ever struggled with making excuses for your blogging? Do you work better on a schedule or without a quota? Do you have any blogging goals for 2017? If so, how are you going to accomplish them?

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